I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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