margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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