the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
