HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
