he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
