Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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