WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
