Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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