oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
