Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
