you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
