Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
