Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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