Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
