So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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