She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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