Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
