may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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