then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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