Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
