You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
