Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize