What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize