you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
