we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
