She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dignity is for republicans.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize