but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
