I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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