Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
