i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
