I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize