Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
