I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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