when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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