Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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