Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have feelings that need drinking.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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