so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He felt like a one man threesome
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
