I think i peed on brittanys purse
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
