I want to walk on stilts...naked
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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