Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
