It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
