turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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