Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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