I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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