i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
as a side note pls kill me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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