im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
