Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
