i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
