just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
