I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
