I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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