OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
