So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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