yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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