I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
