I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
