I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
