is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
