I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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