Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize