just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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