You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize