You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
