is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
