Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
