just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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