Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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