Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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